A Long Year

Here I find myself.. 24 mom of 3 cats, wife to an amazing loving wonderful husband.. and yet here I am barely able to get out of bed in the morning. The depression is heavy she rests on me weighing me down like a weighted blanket, but in this case a very unwanted weighted blanket. As I try to pull back the covers and open my eyes each morning the consuming thoughts of my friend anxiety then meets me with a hello. I slowly slip into overthinking everything until I become too overwhelmed to move then I succumb to grabbing the all too familiar blanket of depression and letting her weigh me back down. Another day lost in the abyss of my own dark lonely mind. 

  Why do I allow myself to go to these places you ask? Why do any of us. I've been told so many times "just snap out of it" only by people who have never understood the demons that claw at you deep in your soul. Where it's so gut wrenching you can't make a scream, all you can do is hold your breath, and hope tomorrow will hold a better day. And maybe, just maybe tomorrow will. I'm writing to you dear reader hoping that after this long, hard unbearable year I may be able to touch the lives of someone with my own words. 

  This life has been hard on me, and like me so many others out there have had trauma, struggles and they also deal with demons that make them feel alone. I'm here to create a safe place for you, for me, for us. 

Let's make this next year count together. 

Let's live a little more.

Laugh a little longer. 

Love a little harder. 

And be a lot more gentler on ourselves. 

Abundant Blessings 

-A