Domestic Violence

   Hello Dear readers, and welcome or welcome back. Before I get going on today's topic I would just like to take a moment to recognize Martin Luther King Jr. and all he stood for. As we remember him today as a motivational speaker, a man who was ahead of his time, and someone who cared for the rights of others. I think it's remarkable how one person can spark such a wildfire in the lives of humans, so today let's honor him and remember him for the gentle kind loving person that he was. -- 

 Now with that being said today I would really like to focus on domestic violence. It is an epidemic within our society and it has only gotten worse, and worse as the years continue on. I myself am a victim of domestic violence, I have feared for my life multiple times, but there are ways out and there is help. First things first lets break it down and collect some knowledge on domestic violence.

do-mes-tic vi-o-lence

noun

violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner. 

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic abuse, also called "domestic violence" or "intimate partner violence", can be defined as a pattern of a behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can occur within a range of relationships including couples who are married, living together or dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, faith or class!. Victims of domestic violence may also include a child or other relative, or any other household member. Domestic violence is typically manifested as a pattern of abusive behavior toward an intimate partner in a dating or family relationship, where the abuser exerts power and control over the victim. Domestic violence can be mental, physical, economic or sexual in nature. Incidents are rarely isolated, and usually escalate in frequency and severity. Domestic violence may culminate in serious physical injury or death to the victim or the abuser depending on the severity of the abuse, and the situation. 

Are You Being Abused?

Look over the following questions to think about how you are being treated and how you, yourself treat your partner.

Recognizing the signs of domestic violence:

Does your partner...

*Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?

*Put down your accomplishments? 

*Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?

*Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?

*Tell you that you are/would be nothing without them?

*Treat you roughly-- grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?

*Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?

*Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?

*Blame you for how they feel or act?

*Pressure you sexually for things you aren't ready for?

*Make you feel like there is "no way out" of the relationship?

*Prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with friends or family?

*Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a lesson"?

Do You...

*Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?

*Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner's behavior?

*Believe that you can help your partner change if only you can change something about yourself?

*Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner upset?

*Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?

*Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what would happen if you broke up?

If any of these things are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without help, the abuse WILL continue. Making that first step is hard, but rewarding. 

For Survivors

No one deserves to be abused. The abuse is not your fault. You are not alone. 

Contact the Critical Incident Stress Management Unit (CISMU) if you are concerned that you may be experiencing any form of abuse or are in fear for the safety of yourself or your children. If English is not your first language, you can request a language you feel more comfortable speaking when contacting CISMU. If you do not feel comfortable speaking on the phone with someone or you are in a situation where you can't there is the The National Domestic Violence Hotline, and you can speak to someone 24/7 seven days a week. Also the thing I like the most about this website is that at pressing the escape key at anytime puts you out of their webpage and back to Google, so in the case that your abuser walks in on you planning you're exit strategy you would easily have a way to make it look like you were just Googling something here is the web link :  https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/

For Abusive Partners 

If you recognize that you are mistreating your partner, there may be resources in your community to assist you to end the abuse. National Domestic Violence Hotline has a number of resources that can assist while this is a US Hotline, the advice and information may be useful no matter where you live. Understand that domestic violence is not only against the United States code of conduct, but you may be subject to criminal prosecution under the law that is applicable. 

If you are surviving in an abusive relationship, or if you are the abuser get help. Talk to someone. No one is worth living your life suffocating in pain.. I know that in this moment you might be thinking that you're in love, but love doesn't look like any of the things we have discussed today. There will come someone that will love you in the way that you deserve to be loved. 

Hopefully with this information I have been able to reach someone hurting, save someone from a painful relationship and allow someone to open their hearts to a new world of love, real love and possibilities. 

Blessings --

A